Nineteen. That’s how many days stood between me and my ability to claim I was mom to four teenager daughters at once. You see, my eldest crossed the threshold into 20 nineteen days before my baby turned 13. I was disappointed when I realized that never would all my daughters officially be “teenagers” at once.

I truly loved parenting in the teen years. The hard work of continual discipline and morality lessons had been done in the toddler and middle school years. My teens were so much fun to be around. They were independent teens who filled my days with deep belly laughs and my evenings with long, thought-provoking discussions. (Disclaimer: not unlike toddlers, teens still zap your sleep. The best talks aren’t even initiated until after midnight.)

But others don’t seem to agree with me; some feel it’s torture to have any teenagers under their roof. When did raising teenagers get such a bad rap?

The word “teenager” didn’t exist before the 1940s

Believe it or not, the answer is in this book. Or actually the answer is in what’s NOT in this book:

I became the new owner of this amazing old treasure at our library book sale. It’s dusty. It’s huge. It’s a tome of words… a dictionary printed in 1920.

A daughter sauntered over to me as I perused the historical fiction table and announced I had to see THIS. She knew I’d love it.

In excitement she pulled me–literally pulled me–three tables down and a row over. “Look!” was her one-word invitation to glance at the richly marbled end papers and water stained, worn, embossed cover as she gingerly turned some of its thousands of pages of vernacular expressions, idioms, and agricultural and botanic terms from 1920.

I knew one particular entry I wanted to look for immediately. I’d heard this word didn’t exist prior to WWII. I’d heard this word was simply never a thought in a parent’s mind. It’s a word I use sparingly. It’s a word I dislike because of what it stands for.

Before telling you the word I was looking up and why, I have a family photo to share with you.

This photo of my granddad and grandmother was taken around the same time that this amazing dictionary was coming off the printing press. It’s of my Dad’s parents and his oldest sibling.

My grandparents are 17 and 19 in the picture, with their first of 10 children sitting on grandmom’s lap. They knew how to raise food and make meals from scratch, or “off the land,” as my dad always said. They knew true adult joys and hardships and responsibilities.

What does this have to do with my daughter’s wonderful dictionary find? Well the word I immediately went looking for was one that didn’t exist when it was printed or when this sweet photo was taken of Jim and Rosa and my Aunt Pauline. (Read this post if you’d like to know more about Pauline, that captivating little girl in the photograph.)

You see, the dictionary printed in 1920 has no entry for “teenager.” The term wasn’t coined for quite a few more decades.

Why I don’t use the term “teenager”

To be honest, I don’t use the term “teenager” often. I despise what it stands for.

You see, the word “teenager” evolved in our society after WWII, in an attempt to let children stay children a little longer, after witnessing too many youth go off to war and never return.

So young people who used to long to be mature and work side-by-side with adults, learning adult skills, were encouraged to hold onto their childhoods and not worry about responsibilities or independence.

But soon adults started lamenting the irresponsible “teenagers” that resulted. In truth, young adults don’t want to be indulged and given more time to be kids. Young adults enjoy working elbow-to-elbow with skilled adults who can teach them life skills.

Young adults crave life skills. Young adults crave independence. Young adults long to gracefully slip into adulthood. But they can’t do that if they’re ill prepared to do so. They can’t do that if they’re overprotected as “teenagers.” 

Why I do work hard at relationships with my young adult children

I recently interviewed Chris Coursey, author of 4 Habits of a Joy-Filled Life, on the Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy podcast and learned something fascinating about the young adult brain.

We all–at every age–need moments of high-energy joy and low-energy rest throughout our days. They are two sides of the same coin and both are necessary. But young adults, in the 13-16 year range specifically, have a lot of trouble with resting. The hormones keep the brain very active, and without the much-needed counterbalance of rest, young adults often need reliable, caring relationships with parents more than ever.

Listen in to the episode here: How joy fuels our brains & improves our health, with Chris Coursey, Season 5 Episode 14 of the Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy Podcast

Or here:

Or watch the full episode here:

Why teens shouldn’t “embrace their childhood”

So, no, my heirloom picture boasts of no “teenagers.” Jim and Rosa would have would have surely scoffed at the idea of “embracing their childhood a little longer.” There were farm fields to tend, food to can, clothes to mend, and a fulfilling life to live.

And my home didn’t really ever boast of “teenagers” either.

I choose to not use the word if I didn’t have to.

When each daughter turned 13 we actually sat down (usually over a mom-daughter lunch at her favorite sandwich shop) and talked about this little history lesson and I assured her I was there to help her gracefully slip into adulthood in the wonderful 5 years ahead.

I assured her I had no intention of coddling her or asking her to stay my baby (not that we couldn’t reminisce and pull out that adorable baby book any old time she wanted to, mind you), but instead I was eager to help her develop all those amazing talents and skills she was discovering that she had.

Mind you, I didn’t tell her to follow Rosa’s example with a husband beside her and a babe on her lap at 17, but I did encourage her to know that she had great abilities already and we would hone those skills in the years ahead and she would be taking the world by storm before we knew it.

More about parenting (and “teenagers”)

Encourage your child to be an entrepreneur

Help your children be philanthropic

Your child’s “small” interests can make a big impact

Free resources to Help you Homeschool Children Who Change the World

Tips and Life Hacks from 11 Encouraging Moms, including Michelle

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.” Col. 3:23

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The post Why are they called teenagers? first appeared on Souly Rested.

Where to Listen or Watch

Listen on Apple Podcasts here: Cultivating a Healthy Attitude Towards Food, with Amber Benge, Season 5 Episode 7 of the Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy Podcast

Or listen here:

And watch here:

Cultivating a Healthy Attitude Towards Food, with Amber Benge

In this episode:

• Shocking statistics from the Natn. Eating Disorder Assoc. (source)
• Amber’s thoughts on why these statistics may not be shocking enough.
• The many contributors to Amber’s unhealthy associations with food.
• How parents can impact an unhealthy view of food in kids at a young age.
• The results of food being connected to trauma.
• The connections between eating disorders and processed foods.
• An example of an extreme diet.
• Warning signs in a child or teenager who has an eating disorder.
• How a parent should respond to a child’s unhealthy view of food.
• How a naturopath deconstructs a diet and teaches about real food and herbalism.
• How to make peace with food and a less-than-perfect body.
• What percentage of individuals with anorexia are male.
• How to practice moderation with food.
• Possibly the simplest thing to do to for a healthy body image (you and your kids)

Follow Amber:

on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gracewalkfarm/

on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@gracewalkfarm

Amber’s blog:https://gracewalkfarm.org/

Other Articles & Resources You Might Enjoy:

Growing Seedlings for Profit (article)

How to Use a Calendar to Improve your Health (podcast)

Tips for Improving Your Health, at any age (podcast)

My 7-page Pantry Checklist (free download)

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1

I’d love to connect!

To find me in some other neck of the woods, just click any (or every!) icon below:

The post Having a Healthy Attitude Towards Food, with Amber Benge (S5 E7) first appeared on Souly Rested.

After a few decades of homeschooling, our family learned that shorter homeschool years can actually be more productive.

We put away book work for this school year one week into May, and we won’t be picking it back up until the first week of September.

Why?

Because there’s too much work to do!

On our homestead, spring is the time for big plans. For a 12-year-old who has been enamored with Doll DIYs for over a year now, the perfect plans will culminate in a full-size American Girl doll house.  She measured, planed, and diagrammed her dream. Now her Mechanical Engineering sister, who’s home from college and not heading back out of town for her summer internship for a few weeks, is helping her put the tools behind her plans.

She’s so glad we worked hard on the book work over the long, snowy winter so we could be done our official school year in early May. Now the fun work can begin!

This is the second year we crunched hard through core subjects in the dead of the winter so we could have a long summer. It was necessary when we were moving 400 miles away last May.

And it seemed sensible when my homeschool graduate headed off to college last fall. We decided to follow her school schedule, so we could be off over her breaks. It was fabulous motivation to work hard and stay on schedule, knowing they’d have another long summer (and this summer wouldn’t be filled with moving boxes, painting, and wood floor refinishing).

Of course I’ll keep records of their projects–after all, not all 12-year-olds get to take on a hands-on Machinery and Design Class! Her sister will be completing Gardening, Planting, and Design 102. (101 was last summer.)

And they’re both learning more than I’ve ever known about raising chickens and bunnies (other exciting projects on the farm).

Then there’s Lessons in Philanthropy. The youngest is perpetually engaging in Self-Paced Nature Photography. And the other is approaching the pinnacle of her 5-year-long project of Helping Others Through Rescued Horses.

And, yes, they’ll still be completing one math lesson a week and writing often… they both love running their own blogs. (Go here for tips on helping a child improve their writing skills by starting a blog.)

But boy are we all happy to put away book work for a nice, long summer. Cause all the rest, well it’s so stinkin’ fun, it doesn’t even seem like learning. And that, my friend, is when they truly learn the most.

Mark Twain said it well, “I’ve never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Tips to Make Your Homeschool Year More Productive

Some things our family does during our homeschool year to help us shorten the time it takes to complete the bookwork:

Find classes that follow a short school year

We try to only attend co-ops that start mid-September and end early-May. And for Bible curriculum, we have attended a local Community Bible Study for 9 years now, and we love it. These classes also start mid-September and end early-May, yet my daughters’ daily readings and introspective work, along with their 2-hour weekly classes with homeschooling peers, more than equal a full credit’s worth of Bible study.

. . .

Skim the math review in leaps and bounds

For math, we’ve always used Saxon (well, once they’ve mastered the elementary school fundamentals–for those we never use a textbook). We like Saxon, except for the tedious, oh-so-boring review that takes up about 20 lessons at the beginning of every school year. To overcome the repetition, we complete only 80% of each textbook and whiz right through the review lessons at the beginning of the new book, skimming about 10 lessons in a sitting with Mom, just as a review. Then the student starts up with whatever lesson we hit on that she and I agree is a good spot to start. It’s also very rare that we actually reach the perfect ending spot each school year. We simply start the new book the next day after finishing the last book, regardless of the date.

. . .

Complete only the meaningful history projects

We love Mystery of History. But it took me a few years to get over my guilt that I never could do all the projects suggested. I don’t even try to do half of them any more. Instead, I skim the options at the beginning of the week and choose one that would be the most meaningful for each student. Even then, I’ll be honest, many weeks pass that no extra project is completed. But we keep on track with our daily readings, no matter what. I used to stop all progress through history until specific projects were done. Now I realize they will definitely complete the projects that revolve around their favorite people or topics, and those are the only projects that are likely to really make a lasting impact on them anyway. On the other hand, in elementary school my daughters spent an entire year on colonial times and another on just Civil War through 1900. And we were almost completely project-based those years. So do what works for your students and your school year plans. For us, at this stage in our homeschool, we have a set goal of covering specific time periods in the course of each year.

. . .

Elongate your book work time on the rainy, cold, or snowy days

Nope, we’ve never taken a snow day. Mind you, we spend all afternoon playing in the snow, but when it’s cold and windy in the early morning hours, we snuggle up inside with our book work. Then we enjoy our snow time in the afternoon sun even more.

. . .

Don’t take off the obscure holidays

Who needs to celebrate Columbus sailing the ocean blue or birthdays of other historical men we could learn about instead? A May summer is much more appealing to us than sporadic 3-day weekends.

. . .

Combine students in subjects whenever possible

To encourage your sanity more than any other reason, I highly recommend you combine your different-grade-level students in the same-level subjects whenever possible. If the younger one isn’t quite ready for the challenge of their sibling’s full class, then loosen the expectations on the younger one, while expecting the full workload from the older student. But by teaching history, science, health, and/or grammar only once in a given school day (or a few times each, depending on your number of children and age ranges), you free up your time a little and face less chance of burnout. Burnout will definitely require you to take longer Christmas and spring breaks, which will certainly commit you to a longer school year.

. . .

Get a jumpstart

The summer before my then-9th and -8th grader were going to take on Apologia Biology together, we were all 3 very intimidated by the thought. It was by far the most text-booky textbook we ever even considered tackling. We feared we could never get through it all in a 9-month window, so we decided to complete Module 1 over the summer. That was the best decision we ever made, a precedent that has since become the routine for how we approach science textbooks. We start every school year with Module 1 under our belt.

. . .

Change it up once in a while

Oddly enough, taking days every now and then to take OFF time from the typical book work can rejuvenate you and your children, allowing you to actually stay on track better than if you never have an off day. Do an interesting project, or make a homemade game about something you’re learning about, or spend the day watching documentaries on line about the historical time period you’re studying.

Talk to me!

Do you have some tips on making the homeschool year extra productive? Please share in the comments! And please tag me on ig with if you’re sharing pictures of fun homeschool projects @souly.rested.

Other Articles You’ll Enjoy:

My thoughts on why Harvard is threatened by homeschoolers

4 questions successful parents ask themselves

Why I’m glad I sometimes fail as a parent

Enjoy this great December school project: Designing a 3D (edible!) replica of your home

“In all toil, there is profit.” Proverbs 14:23

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Find out why SoulyRested was considered to be one of the Top 20 Must-Read Homesteading Blogs of 2018 and then one of the Top Homesteading Blogs of 2019 as well.

 

I’d love to connect!

To find me in some other neck of the woods, just click any (or every!) icon below:

The post Making Your Homeschool Year Shorter & More Productive first appeared on Souly Rested.